I was just wondering while watching a pregnancy test advert.... Not only can this test tell you if you're pregnant or not, it can also tell you how far along you are. So - I just wondered - maybe you can get a test (I don't know of any on the market at the moment) - that can tell you how far along mad you are. Almost like a GPS giving you information at how close you are to your destination - which in this case will be the mad house. Should you suddenly start recovering, it will start saying something along the lines of ''recalculating, recalculating...'' and direct you back home again.
Or perhaps you could actually set the destination as you like, but should you change your mind or become a little saner on the way, you can chose a new destination point and use the funny farm as a via point. Hmm.....but maybe once you're there they don't let you go.
Perhaps just a simple test - not one that goes into recalculating or anything like that - just one that gives you the measurements - Madness Measurement - sold there right next to the pregnancy tests and thermometers: you are very sane, you are sane, you are slightly mad, you are very mad...and then maybe just a really loud alarm bell when you are totally mad and the men in white coats come running.
I want the men in white coats right now, I really do..... A padded cell with the key lost or thrown away will be an absolute blessing right now.